Weddings are all about love, laughter, and bringing the best people together - and that means you! Couples spend so much time and care dreaming up every detail of their day, and they can’t wait to share it with you. Your energy, excitement and good vibes are a big part of what makes it all unforgettable. By showing up ready to celebrate (and maybe shed a happy tear or two), you’re helping to make the magic even brighter. To help you bring your A-game, here’s your ultimate cheat sheet of do’s and don’ts for being the guest everyone’s thrilled to have at the party!
DO...
✅ Actually Be Present The most thoughtful thing you can do as a guest is put your phone away and soak in the moment. As Fred Astaire Dance Studios shares, “That moment isn’t your Instagram Reel; it’s their forever memory. Let the pros capture it while you enjoy, tear up a little, and maybe imagine your own slow-spin someday.”
✅ Treat the Wedding Like the Sacred Celebration It Is Forget the casual, come-as-you-are mindset. “The new “best guest” is one who reads the damn details, respects the run of show, and shows up with intention - not entitlement," states Dominique Mattessino of Soul Agave. "These aren’t backyard potlucks. Our couples are investing $100K+ for an immersive experience. If you receive an invitation, your role is to match that energy - RSVP on time, follow the attire, and please, for the love, stay seated when the planner cues the ceremony. You're not at brunch - you're part of the most important day of someone's life."
✅ Show Love, Not Just Show Up “It’s not just about showing up - it’s about showing love,” reminds Kristy Desmond of Divinity Event Productions. "Be present and gracious. Take time to congratulate the couple, say hello to their families, and actually enjoy the celebration." Your joy makes their day even more special.
✅ Respect the Details (and the Seating Chart) Seating charts, timelines, and decor details aren't random ... they're part of the magic. "Please do not disregard the seating chart," requests Lara Jacobs of Laki Events + Design. The seating chart is carefully and thoughtfully planned by the couple - often finalized just in time for signage to be printed.
SPOTLIGHT: Wedding Guest Etiquette 101
The ultimate guide to wedding day Do's and Don'ts
April 26, 2025
Weddings are all about love, laughter, and bringing the best people together - and that means you! Couples spend so much time and care dreaming up every detail of their day, and they can’t wait to share it with you. Your energy, excitement and good vibes are a big part of what makes it all unforgettable. By showing up ready to celebrate (and maybe shed a happy tear or two), you’re helping to make the magic even brighter. To help you bring your A-game, here’s your ultimate cheat sheet of do’s and don’ts for being the guest everyone’s thrilled to have at the party!
DO...
✅ Actually Be Present The most thoughtful thing you can do as a guest is put your phone away and soak in the moment. As Fred Astaire Dance Studios shares, “That moment isn’t your Instagram Reel; it’s their forever memory. Let the pros capture it while you enjoy, tear up a little, and maybe imagine your own slow-spin someday.”
✅ Treat the Wedding Like the Sacred Celebration It Is Forget the casual, come-as-you-are mindset. “The new “best guest” is one who reads the damn details, respects the run of show, and shows up with intention - not entitlement," states Dominique Mattessino of Soul Agave. "These aren’t backyard potlucks. Our couples are investing $100K+ for an immersive experience. If you receive an invitation, your role is to match that energy - RSVP on time, follow the attire, and please, for the love, stay seated when the planner cues the ceremony. You're not at brunch - you're part of the most important day of someone's life."
✅ Show Love, Not Just Show Up “It’s not just about showing up - it’s about showing love,” reminds Kristy Desmond of Divinity Event Productions. "Be present and gracious. Take time to congratulate the couple, say hello to their families, and actually enjoy the celebration." Your joy makes their day even more special.
✅ Respect the Details (and the Seating Chart) Seating charts, timelines, and decor details aren't random ... they're part of the magic. "Please do not disregard the seating chart," requests Lara Jacobs of Laki Events + Design. The seating chart is carefully and thoughtfully planned by the couple - often finalized just in time for signage to be printed.
"When guests choose to sit elsewhere, it forces the planner into a last-minute scramble to rearrange tables and locate extra place settings before the grand entrance. This disruption can delay the wedding's flow, as we aim for everyone to be seated and comfortable to welcome the newly announced couple to their reception."
✅ Thoughtful Gifting Dragging a heavy gift to the venue is no longer the move. “Personally selected registry items shipped directly to the couple, or even a contribution to a cash fund - might be more meaningful,” states Kayla Kudo, Social Sales & Catering Manager for Enchantment Resort.
✅ Admire Decor (Without Rearranging It) Appreciation is in, interference is out. “Admire their decorations, but please avoid touching or rearranging them. They are carefully curated to match the couple's vision,” says Christina Blodgett of Urban Desert Flora.
✅ Being Clear and Honest About Dietary Needs Don’t wait until you're seated to announce a dietary restriction. “Clearly and honestly noting dietary restrictions on your RSVP allows us to prep the right meal so you can fully enjoy the celebration,” advises Marisa Lockwood of Floridino’s.
DON'T...
🚫 Act Like You’re on Vacation Weddings are celebrations, not spring break. “That means treating the ceremony like a cocktail hour, taking selfies during the vows, or asking if there's a vegan option as you're being served beef short ribs,” says Dominique Mattessino of Soul Agave. "The most jarring thing? The ones who complain to the couple because something didn’t go their way. It’s giving “main character,” and not in a flattering way. A wedding isn’t a Yelp experience, save your opinions for later (or never lol)."
🚫 Crash Their First Dance "Cutting into the couple’s first dance - whether by stepping onto the floor or stealing the spotlight - simply isn’t the move," states Fred Astaire Dance Studios. Their first dance is a moment of pure magic. Let them have it, uninterrupted.
🚫 Snag Decor Those gorgeous floral arrangements? They aren’t party favors (unless you’re told otherwise). As Christina Blodgett of Urban Desert Flora reminds, "Unless explicitly stated, do not assume you can take home any of the floral decor. This can lead to the couple taking on extra charges for missing items.”
🚫 Ignore RSVP Deadlines Late RSVPs aren’t just annoying, they create logistical nightmares. “Couples are already juggling a ton of moving parts, and chasing down responses shouldn’t be one of them,” says Craig Peterman of Craig Peterman Photography & Videography. "If you get invited, respond early, show up with intention, and be the kind of guest who makes the day better, not harder."
Top 5 Guest Faux Pas to Avoid...
1. Texting the Couple on the Wedding Day The couple has thoughtfully planned every detail - and likely shared a wedding website, planner contact, or day-of information ahead of time. As Dominique Mattessino of Soul Agave says, “Show up like you want to be invited back. The couple hired professionals for a reason - don’t make them do double duty on their own wedding day."
2. Arriving Late (Or Leaving Early) We’ve all been there - running behind or needing to duck out early. But at a wedding, timing is key. Walking in during the ceremony or sneaking out during the reception disrupts the flow and can distract from key moments.
3. Overindulging at the Bar While it's great to enjoy a drink or two, excessive alcohol can lead to a less-than-ideal guest experience. From slurring speeches to uninvited dance floor “performances,” overdoing it can leave a bad impression.
4. Wearing White (or Anything Too Close to White) Wearing white to a wedding is a well-known faux pas. It takes away from the bride’s special moment and it’s seen as a clear violation of wedding etiquette.
5. Bringing an Uninvited Plus One Sometimes, it feels like bringing a guest is a last-minute decision, but showing up with someone who wasn’t invited can throw off the couple’s planning and budget. If you’re unsure if you were given a plus one, double-check with the couple or the event coordinator.
Photo courtesy of Fred Astaire Dance Studios
"When guests choose to sit elsewhere, it forces the planner into a last-minute scramble to rearrange tables and locate extra place settings before the grand entrance. This disruption can delay the wedding's flow, as we aim for everyone to be seated and comfortable to welcome the newly announced couple to their reception."
✅ Thoughtful Gifting Dragging a heavy gift to the venue is no longer the move. “Personally selected registry items shipped directly to the couple, or even a contribution to a cash fund - might be more meaningful,” states Kayla Kudo, Social Sales & Catering Manager for Enchantment Resort.
✅ Admire Decor (Without Rearranging It) Appreciation is in, interference is out. “Admire their decorations, but please avoid touching or rearranging them. They are carefully curated to match the couple's vision,” says Christina Blodgett of Urban Desert Flora.
✅ Being Clear and Honest About Dietary Needs Don’t wait until you're seated to announce a dietary restriction. “Clearly and honestly noting dietary restrictions on your RSVP allows us to prep the right meal so you can fully enjoy the celebration,” advises Marisa Lockwood of Floridino’s.
DON'T...
🚫 Act Like You’re on Vacation Weddings are celebrations, not spring break. “That means treating the ceremony like a cocktail hour, taking selfies during the vows, or asking if there's a vegan option as you're being served beef short ribs,” says Dominique Mattessino of Soul Agave. "The most jarring thing? The ones who complain to the couple because something didn’t go their way. It’s giving “main character,” and not in a flattering way. A wedding isn’t a Yelp experience, save your opinions for later (or never lol)."
🚫 Crash Their First Dance "Cutting into the couple’s first dance - whether by stepping onto the floor or stealing the spotlight - simply isn’t the move," states Fred Astaire Dance Studios. Their first dance is a moment of pure magic. Let them have it, uninterrupted.
🚫 Snag Decor Those gorgeous floral arrangements? They aren’t party favors (unless you’re told otherwise). As Christina Blodgett of Urban Desert Flora reminds, "Unless explicitly stated, do not assume you can take home any of the floral decor. This can lead to the couple taking on extra charges for missing items.”
🚫 Ignore RSVP Deadlines Late RSVPs aren’t just annoying, they create logistical nightmares. “Couples are already juggling a ton of moving parts, and chasing down responses shouldn’t be one of them,” says Craig Peterman of Craig Peterman Photography & Videography. "If you get invited, respond early, show up with intention, and be the kind of guest who makes the day better, not harder."
Top 5 Guest Faux Pas to Avoid...
1. Texting the Couple on the Wedding Day The couple has thoughtfully planned every detail - and likely shared a wedding website, planner contact, or day-of information ahead of time. As Dominique Mattessino of Soul Agave says, “Show up like you want to be invited back. The couple hired professionals for a reason - don’t make them do double duty on their own wedding day."
2. Arriving Late (Or Leaving Early) We’ve all been there - running behind or needing to duck out early. But at a wedding, timing is key. Walking in during the ceremony or sneaking out during the reception disrupts the flow and can distract from key moments.
3. Overindulging at the Bar While it's great to enjoy a drink or two, excessive alcohol can lead to a less-than-ideal guest experience. From slurring speeches to uninvited dance floor “performances,” overdoing it can leave a bad impression.
4. Wearing White (or Anything Too Close to White) Wearing white to a wedding is a well-known faux pas. It takes away from the bride’s special moment and it’s seen as a clear violation of wedding etiquette.
5. Bringing an Uninvited Plus One Sometimes, it feels like bringing a guest is a last-minute decision, but showing up with someone who wasn’t invited can throw off the couple’s planning and budget. If you’re unsure if you were given a plus one, double-check with the couple or the event coordinator.
