If anyone knows what truly matters on a wedding day, it’s the people who spend their careers behind the scenes building timelines, capturing moments, guiding couples through nerves, and solving problems before anyone ever notices. We asked seasoned wedding experts to reflect on what they’d do differently, what they’d prioritize, and what they wish every couple understood early on. Their answers point to one clear truth: unforgettable weddings aren’t built on perfection - they’re built on intention.
Slow the Day Down
“As I approach my ten year wedding anniversary, I’m still so in love with our wedding day,” says Emily Horwitz of EH Photography. “We were very selective with our guest list, which allowed us to truly spend time with the people who mattered most, and I wouldn’t change that. What I would do differently is slow the day down even more. Weddings move quickly, and giving yourself permission to pause and be present changes everything."
That sentiment echoed across experts. Jaclyn VanHaaren, Senior Lead Planner at Laki Events + Design, credits intentional planning as one of the most impactful decisions she made when planning her own wedding.
“A good timeline enhances every aspect of your wedding day,” she says. “We started hair and makeup early so we didn’t feel rushed, incorporated a private moment for me and my new husband during cocktail hour, and had the DJ throw a mini dance party right before dinner. Timeline adjustments like these will make your day incredibly memorable."
Expert takeaway: Build breathing room into your day. Plan moments to pause, connect, and actually experience what you worked so hard to create.
EH Photography
Choose What Feels Like You, Not What You’re “Supposed” to Do
“If we were planning our own wedding, we’d make decisions with one ruthless filter,” says Kennis Harrison of Soul Agave. “Does this feel like us - or are we performing for someone else?”
That clarity is what separates trend-driven weddings from truly unforgettable ones. “the weddings that hit people in the chest, the ones guests talk about for years, are built on clarity, not noise,” Harrison continues. “Your style, your values, your people, your actual life.
VanHaaren echoes this from a planning perspective, encouraging couples to tune out external opinions early. “It’s easy to fall into people-pleasing and compromise what you truly want in an effort to make loved ones happy,” she says. “But your guests are there because they love you and want to celebrate this milestone with you! They will appreciate the day because it is uniquely yours."
For her own wedding, that meant leaning fully into what mattered most to her and her partner - family (young and old), fun, and inclusion. “We made sure the carousel at our venue was running, rented a big white bouncy castle, and had the DJ focus on a family-friendly vibe”
Expert takeaway: Trends fade. Opinions rotate. A wedding that reflects who you truly are will always feel right.
Larissa Jean Photography courtesy of Laki Events + Design
Hire People You Trust and Then Let Go
Across every discipline, one priority rose to the top: trust your vendor team.
“From both personal and professional experience, trust is everything,” says Horwitz. “Hire professionals you genuinely enjoy being around, then allow them to do their jobs so you’re not managing details on your wedding day.”
Harrison agrees: “The right team doesn’t just execute a vision ... they protect the day. They keep the timeline clean, calm the chaos, and make decisions that preserve the feeling you’re trying to create.”
VanHaaren adds that letting go is essential once the day arrives. “You’ve done the work. Now is the time to hand over the reins and simply enjoy. Your wedding day is a rare opportunity to gather all of your loved ones in one place, and you shouldn't waste a moment stressing over minor details."
Expert takeaway: A strong vendor team gives you freedom. Trust them so you can fully show up for your wedding.
Prioritize the Experience For You and Your Guests
For photographer Nadia Palma of Nadia Palma Photography, the most memorable weddings are rooted in how guests feel.
“I’ve learned that the best celebrations prioritize experience over perfection,” she shares. “If I were planning my own wedding, I’d be far more intentional about how guests feel throughout the day - from meaningful personal details at the seating chart to a thoughtfully prepared meal and a dessert experience that feels fun and unexpected."
Music also plays a huge role. “The right DJ or band can completely transform the the atmosphere and energy of a celebration,” Palma notes.
And from a photographer's perspective, she encourages couples to think about the beginning of the day, too. “I’d prioritize the getting-ready location - a space that's uncluttered, filled with natural light, and shared with my closest people. Those early moments set the tone for the entire day and have a lasting impact on how the story is remembered."
Expert takeaway: Think beyond how your wedding looks and focus on how it feels, from start to finish.
Nadia Palma Photography
Think About What You Will Want to Remember
One of Horwitz’s only regrets? Ending photography coverage too early.
“Photography is a lifetime investment, and I wish we had kept our photographer until the very end of the night,” she says. “I didn’t think we needed our dance party documented (and many couples feel this way), and it’s truly my only regret. Those carefree, joy-filled moments are the ones you return to most.”
She also encourages couples to understand the distinct roles of photography, videography, and content creation early on, so they can make intentional choices about how their memories are preserved.
And when it comes to moments you’re actively part of, like your first dance, starting early matters. Lindsey Bianco of Fred Astaire Dance Studios (Arizona) advises couples to begin dance lessons four to six months in advance.
“When couples start early, the dance becomes second nature and on your big day, you’re calm, connected, and fully present with each other,” she explains. “It’s not just about looking great on the floor; it’s about feeling relaxed and confident while sharing one of the most memorable moments of your wedding."
Expert takeaway: Plan for the memories you’ll want to relive - not just the moments that happen once.
Justine Grace Photo and Film courtesy of Soul Agave
The best weddings are not built on perfection, trends, or outside expectations. They are built on intention, trust, and space to actually experience the day.
Plan the details, then let them go. Choose what feels right to you and slow down enough to remember it.
Main photo by EH Photography
